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On the evening of the twenty-second I was folding balloon animals into artful shapes wistfully evocative of my adolescence when, without a moment's warning, I was shaken by an idea of great magnitude

The Problem with Hazing

On January 25th, Andrew Lohse took a major detour from the winning streak he’d been on for most of his life when, breaking with the Dartmouth code of omertà, he detailed some of the choicest bits of his college experience in an op-ed for the student paper The Dartmouth. “I was a member of a fraternity that asked pledges, in order to become a brother, to: swim in a kiddie pool of vomit, urine, fecal matter, semen and rotten food products; eat omelets made of vomit; chug cups of vinegar, which in one case caused a pledge to vomit blood; drink beer poured down fellow pledges’ ass cracks… among other abuses,” he wrote. He accused Dartmouth’s storied Greek system – 17 fraternities, 11 sororities and three coed houses, to which roughly half of the student body belongs – of perpetuating a culture of “pervasive hazing, substance abuse and sexual assault,” as well as an “intoxicating nihilism” that dominates campus social life. “One of the things I’ve learned at Dartmouth – one thing that sets a psychological precedent for many Dartmouth men – is that good people can do awful things to one another for absolutely no reason,” he said. “Fraternity life is at the core of the college’s human and cultural dysfunctions.” Lohse concluded by recommending that Dartmouth overhaul its Greek system, and perhaps get rid of fraternities entirely.

Read more: http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/confessions-of-an-ivy-league-frat-boy-inside-dartmouths-hazing-abuses-20120328#ixzz1qdOvN4qJ

First in a Series of Success Tips

SUCCESS TIP #1: Always assert whatever relevant information you have as the most important information relevant to the subject of discussion. If you have no relevant information, aggressively change the subject. Otherwise you’ll be all like, What what what?, asking questions of your friends, and aggressively asserting your intellectual dominance over no one. This is a path to failure.

On the Study of Economics

Michael Lewis, Liar’s Poker, p. 27

I saw friends steadily drained of life. I often asked otherwise intelligent members of the pre-banking set why they studied economics, and they’d explain that it was the most practical course of study, even while they spent their time drawing funny little graphs. They were right, of course, which was even more maddening. Economics was practical. It got people jobs. And it did this because it demonstrated that they were among the most fervent believers in the primacy of economic life.

Hoo hoo boy, this guy is good

Murphy’s Law

Zadie Smith, White Teeth, p. 37:

The principles of Christianity and Sod’s Law (also known as Murphy’s Law) are the same: Everything happens to me, for me. So if a man drops a piece of toast and it lands butter-side down, this unlucky event is interpreted as being proof of an essential truth about bad luck: that the toast fell as it did just to prove to you, Mr. Unlucky, that there is a defining force in the universe and it is bad luck. It’s not random. It could never have fallen on the right side, so the argument goes, because that’s Sod’s Law. In short, Sod’s Law happens to you to prove to you there there is Sod’s Law. Yet, unlike gravity, it is a law that does not exist whatever happens: when the toast lands on the right side, Sod’s Law mysteriously disappears. Likewise, when Clara fell, knocking the teeth out of the top of her mouth, while Ryan stood up without a scratch, Ryan knew it was because God had chosen Ryan as one of the saved and Clara as one of the unsaved. Not because one was wearing a helmet and the other wasn’t. And had it happened the other way round, had gravity reclaimed Ryan’s teeth and sent them rolling down Primrose Hill like tiny enamel snowballs, well… you can bet your life that God, in Ryan’s mind, would have done a vanishing act.

I took a screenshot of this J-Crew advertisement and saved it to my desktop about two months ago, feeling that it was important that I one day say something about it. Well, now that I’m here procrastinating the work I actually have to do, that time has come. This advertisement is terrifying. Look at this horrible child. Look at him, and then think of his parents, who have dressed him in this way that simultaneously ensures that he (1) will never fit in with his peers, and yet (2) will always look down his nose at other people with disdain. They have probably been been totally supportive of him his whole life, letting him know that he can be whoever he wants to be and encouraging him to march to the beat of a different drummer—and to what result? To what end? He’s dancing with his eyes closed while snapping his fingers and wearing headphones that aren’t plugged into anything, like a crazy person. Perhaps he’s excited about opening his wildly-colored package in that wildly-colored room, as it may contain something that can actually produce music by way of his headphones. Something like 300 iPod Nanos of all different colors for him to accessorize with his wardrobe? That seems fitting.

I took a screenshot of this J-Crew advertisement and saved it to my desktop about two months ago, feeling that it was important that I one day say something about it. Well, now that I’m here procrastinating the work I actually have to do, that time has come.

This advertisement is terrifying. Look at this horrible child. Look at him, and then think of his parents, who have dressed him in this way that simultaneously ensures that he (1) will never fit in with his peers, and yet (2) will always look down his nose at other people with disdain. They have probably been been totally supportive of him his whole life, letting him know that he can be whoever he wants to be and encouraging him to march to the beat of a different drummer—and to what result? To what end? He’s dancing with his eyes closed while snapping his fingers and wearing headphones that aren’t plugged into anything, like a crazy person.

Perhaps he’s excited about opening his wildly-colored package in that wildly-colored room, as it may contain something that can actually produce music by way of his headphones. Something like 300 iPod Nanos of all different colors for him to accessorize with his wardrobe? That seems fitting.

Massa[man]hattan

The Massa[man]hattan, created by Julia Travis, who is the beverage director at the Kin Shop (a restaurant that I assume is in Manhattan). Thanks to Noah for bringing it to my attention. Click here for the original NYTimes link, or follow the break for the recipe.

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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
IdeaTumblr

—Song#1

I made a song! After, like, one fuck-ton of hours playing around with various music production software, trying to find the right one and fiddling around with them and then moving on. It’s extremely silly, particularly around the middle, where the clichéd dance hall synthesizers melt away into something that could serve as the soundtrack for a Universal Studios theme park ride. And then there’s thunderous applause, to riotous effect. If you’re gonna listen, use headphones, so that you can get the full stereophonic experience.

If ever there was an advertisement for a product more perfect than this picture of a plant tearing through packaging to gorge itself Little-Shop-of-Horrors-style on some MiracleGro brand Potting Mix, I’d like to see it.

If ever there was an advertisement for a product more perfect than this picture of a plant tearing through packaging to gorge itself Little-Shop-of-Horrors-style on some MiracleGro brand Potting Mix, I’d like to see it.